Quiet Connections – Finding Peace in Nature
Quiet Connections is a platform that uses the power of nature to empower quieter, more introverted characters and those struggling with social anxiety. Kirsty spoke to Ellie Smart, Social Engagement Manager to find out more.
Illustration by Katie de Lusignan.
Can you explain the idea behind Quiet Connections?
Quiet Connections was founded by Hayley Stanton in 2016. Hayley, with Director Stacie Clark, grew the platform into a safe space for those suffering with social anxiety and lacking in confidence. They’ve had personal experiences with similar feelings, as they state on the website:
‘We know your pain, because we were the quiet ones too. We know what it’s like to feel unable to ask for the help you need, and instead pretend to be okay. We've felt the fierce panic that the mere mention of the words ‘presentation’ and ‘interview’ can trigger.’
They are both Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioners, a technique that harnesses the power of language to break down the mental barriers which we unknowingly create for ourselves.
I’ve been on board since October 2020 to strengthen our nature-focused sessions. I also have experience of feeling anxious in social situations and I know that connecting with nature and tuning into the mindful aspect of our natural world can help.
The aim of Quiet Connections is to help those who are more introverted or feel socially anxious, to grow their confidence to do the things they’ve always wanted but feel held back. We do this through workshops, resources and coaching sessions and we have an app where you can connect with like-minded people.
Can you tell us more about your own personal experience?
A photo of Ellie Smart, Social Engagement Manager at Quiet Connections.
Nature has been a saviour for me - I grew up a ‘quiet’ child - too shy to speak up and awkward in conversations. But something that stayed consistent was my relationship with nature. It has a fluidity that can replicate our emotions. Some days it can chuck it down with rain until we’re soaked through, and others, the birds can sing and the sun can rise beautifully. It has taught me that how we feel isn’t set in stone - we are always changing - just like nature.
I recently discovered I’m a “highly sensitive person” (I prefer to call it highly in tune!). This can make you feel as if you have brain fog - feelings of being completely overwhelmed when there is too much going on around you. I find busy and built-up areas difficult to navigate. I often shut down or allow my energy and mood to drop. We live in a digital age where everything is electric.
When I step outside or focus on nature around me, I breathe in the air and then breathe it gently out again. All those senses that were overwhelmed, I allow them to simply stop and fizzle away. I keep breathing until I am ready. Then, I slowly introduce my senses again.
How does nature feed into the work that you do?
My background is photography, and then I started working as a cashier at the Cornish Seal Sanctuary. This was such an inspiring environment and I started to learn more about nature and enrolled back at university to study Conservation Ecology.
With Quiet Connections, we’ve started a series of nature-based talks to connect our audience with local places right on their doorstep. We’re based in Cornwall and surrounded by exceptional coastline, but we know so many people don’t tend to explore the area. We hope to raise awareness of the wildlife that we share this space with. We also have a strong connection with the seal hospital and are raising money through these sessions.
Photo from Ellie Smart.
What other kind of activities are you planning to host?
We have frequent online talks, presentations and Facebook Live sessions. Previously, group sessions took place in person and so when we’re able to meet again, we hope to launch sea-watches and coastal walks.
We have Nature Nourishment weekends, based on ways to connect with nature locally, plus aspects of mindfulness, based on the Japanese tradition of shinrin-yoku (forest bathing). We want people to connect with the environment using their senses. Shinrin-yoku opens our senses gently and bridges the gap between us and the natural world.
The elements play an important role. Based by the sea, our ever-changing coastline forms the basis of our sessions. Hayley and Stacie are ‘Blue Health’ coaches, a concept which spans a range of research into the benefits of being in, near, on and underwater.
How can nature help combat social anxiety?
Nature has so many incredible benefits to our health, physically and mentally. It’s proven to lower our stress levels and reduce pulse and blood pressure. Amazingly it can even shift our whole nervous system - we can go from fight or flight into rest and digest. These benefits can allow us to feel calmer and more at ease. Nature feels like a safe space, especially for introverted people – it’s much less busy. Nature has its quiet and loud moments, like the rivers running and birds singing. It seems to be easier to relate to, having quiet and loud times, and knowing that both of them are okay.
A lot of the struggles of quieter, more anxious people come from the fact that sometimes we don’t want to be loud but feel so boxed-in with the label of being the ‘quiet one’. In nature, there is more permission to be ourselves.
These are some of my favourite techniques to help connect with nature and reduce feelings of anxiety:
Minding Movement
Photo from Ellie Smart.
As you are walking or sitting in nature, take note of what is moving - animals, plants and elements. Then take note of things that are still. This is an opportunity to reflect on the times where quiet is needed, and motion is needed.
Listening
Engage your auditory sense with the nature around you. Find somewhere to stand or sit still and listen carefully to everything you can hear immediately around you. After a few moments try to expand your awareness so you can hear everything around you further away, again wait a few moments and take everything in. Expand your awareness again until you think you can hear everything possible in range.
Sit Spot
Chose somewhere easy to get to (like your garden). Practice spending time there, fully engaged with what is going on around you. Note down what you notice and how it makes you feel. You can do this often and through the changing seasons.
Gratitude Alters
Gratitude alters are a way to give thanks to nature whilst taking time to practice gratitude in your own life.At a place you tend to visit, or a place you find while wandering, make a small altar of gratitude out of natural and beautiful things you find nearby. As you build these you can find elements in nature that represent things you are grateful for.
Have you seen a shift in the attitude of the people coming to your sessions?
After our ‘Sea and Find’ nature awareness online session people came forward to volunteer as seal medics. We talk a lot in our sessions about comfort zone stretches, stepping outside a little more each time so you have a bigger bubble to feel comfortable and socialise with. Offering to put yourself in a new situation to learn new skills, meet people and also give back to nature is a huge step forward.
We’ve seen lockdown have an impact on those that are socially anxious - and the results have been both positive and negative. When you feel socially anxious there are often feelings of being ’not enough’ or having to meet expectations. There is pressure to have a social presence when all you want to do is stand on a cliff and watch the sea on your own, or maybe curl up and watch TV! Without social obligation, many of us have found a sense of relief, however, there are also feelings of being isolated too and without the right support around, lockdown can heighten this feeling.
We would like to reach out to anyone that feels like this - and to anyone who is feeling nervous about the world going back to ’normal’! You can join us on our app to share your thoughts. We are here to help you through this, as well as finding other people to connect with.
What are the best ways to get involved with the Quiet Connections community?
Our website with resources, e-books, blogs and webinars to watch on-demand.
Free Online events – we have an event every Thursday on subjects including breathing techniques, nature mindfulness and exploring curiosity.
Our weekly podcast.
Our app is an enclosed space to meet like-minded individuals in a community it’s almost like Facebook for quiet people. You can find it here.
You can find us on social media: Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Thank you to Katie de Lusignan for her beautiful illustration. You can find more of her work on Instagram @myhandsmadethese.
Kirsty Crawford
Kirsty lives in Glasgow and works for environmental charity The Conservation Volunteers as their Citizen Science Projects Officer. Previously a Journalism and Creative Writing graduate, she went on to gain an MSc in Wildlife Biology and Conservation. After a varied career path, she set up the online conservation platform '& Another Thing', providing a welcoming space for environmental issues and those working in the sector.
You can find her on Instagram @wildscotplace.